Objective: To win.  (This is not as much of a joke as it seems; read on)

Setup: The deck(s) are shuffled.  Each player is dealt a number of cards equal to the number of people that are playing.  For example, if there are 3 people playing, everyone gets dealt 3 cards.  Each player may look at his/her hand.  Cards have point values.  The value of a card is equal to the number on the card, or 10 if it is a face card, or 1 if it is an Ace.  The game is played in turns.  The player to the left of the dealer takes the first turn.

Game play: At the beginning of every turn, every player gets dealt one card.  If there are not enough cards to be dealt to everyone, no cards are dealt.  Afterwards, the current player proposes a new rule.  The rule that is suggested may be any rule at all; here are some examples:

• Hearts count for double points.
• Sally and I draw 2 cards at the end of this turn.
• I win.
• I may pull a card of my choice from the discard pile into my hand at the end of this turn, and if this game does not end by 3:30, I win.

Details:

•  The number of cards in someone's hand is free information; if you are asked how many cards you have in your hand, you must answer truthfully.
• Table talk is permitted at all times.
• If a rule that someone proposes is ambiguous in some way, you may do one of two things: 1) if you reveal the ambiguity while the person is proposing it, the proposer may resolve the ambiguity at that time. 2) if you reveal the ambiguity at any point after the rule has been proposed, you may resolve the ambiguity yourself.  Your interpretation of the rule must make sense with the entire rule as proposed.  For example, if the proposed rule is "Joe loses his next turn, but he draws an additional card on his turn after that.", you cannot call the ambiguity that Joe loses (the game!) on his next turn, because the second clause does not make sense under that interpretation.  (if the proposer had left out that second clause, though, you could call the ambiguity, and Joe would actually lose the game)
• Because rules pass in the case of a tie, you may suggest a rule but not put down any cards for it, in which case it will pass so long as nobody plays any cards against it.

• Proposed rules may not have an effect outside the duration and context of the game itself.  For example, you can't propose rules like "I win every game of CalvinCards that I ever play".
• No proposed rule may obtain "UberRule" status. That is, every rule that is proposed can be changed, removed, or averted by future rules.
• (optional) No rule may be proposed that makes it possible for the game to end in any other way than exactly one person winning. This is really only necessary if you're playing seriously, or keeping track of wins, etc. It also prevents silly rules like "Everyone wins!"

• "I draw an extra card during every draw phase." This one is often underestimated by very new players. If you can get this rule passed while keeping some cards in your hand, you've practically won the game.
• "Cards in a straight are worth X times their original value, where X is the number of cards in the straight" Only do this if you are pretty sure that you have the largest straight. Most people don't realize how large the point values can get with such a rule. With a simple Jack-Queen-King, you have 90 points!
• "At the beginning of each turn, if I have fewer than 7 cards, I may draw cards until I have 7." This is another commonly underestimated rule. If you pass this rule, you can play all of your cards every turn and get them back right away. Use this to deal with other people as they are making their rules.
• ". . . and the next turn is mine." This works best if you have a little rule that you think nobody cares about.
• "At any time, I may use the discard pile as a bank; By putting any number of cards totaling X points into the discard pile, I may pull X points worth of cards into my hand." This one does nothing special when there are no other rules in play. However, if someone passes a rule like "all hearts are worth double", you may exchange your cards for hearts. Or perhaps someone passes "Each turn, every player must discard a card of their choice from their hand." Then you can trade for an ace and discard that card each time. Or even if someone says "every player must discard down to 6 cards if they have more than 6 cards," you can trade for high point value cards.
• "Rules are not passed on highest value. Instead, a rule passes if and only if the "for" pile is closer to 10 points than the "against" pile." Go for this rule if your cards are bad. Also, if people haven't seen this rule before, they may not fully understand how it affects the game.

• The fact that your opponents don't know what you played is very important; if you suggest a strong rule in your favor, they will probably play enough points to shoot down your rule in the worst possible case.  One good way to pull lots of points out of opponents' hands is to put down 3 aces, and say I win.  They will probably play more than 30 points to counter.  Of course, as always with bluffing, try actually playing 30 points in 3 cards; this has been known to work also.
• In two player CalvinCards, bluffing is just about the most important thing.  The majority of rules that you both make will be "I win".  You can do well by suggesting weaker rules, though.  You can often get away with a lesser rule, like "All of your cards are always worth 2 points".  Needless to say, you will almost certainly win if you pass such a rule.  Many people, myself included, find CalvinCards much more amusing with more than two players.
• If someone throws down all their cards for a rule, you may want to let it pass, and try to revoke it on the next turn: since he spent all his cards on passing the rule, he won't have much to prevent it from being revoked.
• Usually, people make some sort of reshuffle rule, putting the discard pile back into the deck.  Since there is no restriction on how many different rules there are in your proposal, it's very simple to tack a reshuffle rule onto whatever other rule(s) you were going to propose.
• If you are losing, suggest rules that benefit people randomly, like "aces are worth 40 points." If you are winning, suggest rules that remove randomness, like "all cards are worth 1 point."
• In CalvinCards with more than 2 players, diplomacy is, probably, the most important aspect.  Make rules that help other people in addition to yourself.  When other people are proposing rules, say things like "I'll vote for that rule, if you put in the clause that ..."  When possible, make rules that don't explicitly benefit you.  For example, if you have a few pairs of the same card, suggest that pairs of cards played together count for double points.  You might try not putting down any cards for such a rule; people might not vote against it if they believe that you just made something up because you couldn't think of anything better.
• When creating rules, it is important to make them sound more innocuous than they really are.  Take a look at some of the example rule proposals in the next section; some of them are very commonly underestimated.
• On a less formal note, many people really don't like CalvinCards much.  They tend to see their turn as a burden, that now they have to think of something to propose.  I'd like to say that these are the same people that just don't like to think and imagine in general, but that is probably too hasty an assumption.
• One of my favorite things about CalvinCards is that when looking back at games, I don't really remember who won, but I do remember the rules and the confusion and the fun.  Don't be afraid to suggest rules that that are needlessly complex or just plain odd.  If you come up with something that really turns the game upside-down, you will more likely be remembered than the person who ended up winning.

This game is a product of the deranged mind of Phil Schanely. Please feel free to direct your comments, questions, and suggestions in his direction.